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april fools 2010

april fools 2010 (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

I am a proud St. Louis Cardinals baseball fan.  In my book, there is no better franchise in the history of major league baseball.  Every year my team gives me a reason to be proud.  Rarely, if ever, has the Cardinals disappointed me

Which is why I have come to pity Chicago Cubs fans in a way that almost makes me want to root for their team just one season.  Why?  The Cubs ALWAYS disappoint their fans, banking on a gullible bunch of faithful followers who value tradition over baseball.  Go to Wrigley Field.  Look at Wrigley Field.  Listen to their fans during a game.  You will know what I mean.

I live in the Chicago area.  Every March the foolish mantra begins.  Cubs fans actually believe their team is going to win come April.  Their jealous trash talk spews my way usually until the end of April, when their team has already begun their death spiral.  The trash talk usually turns to tearful bile, their hopes dropping as fast as their team towards last place.

I am expecting the trash talk.  I am waiting to hear the childish pipe dreams.  Instead I am hearing resignation from Cub fans.  That’s right.

Cub hell has frozen over.

I think Cub fans have finally had it.  A friend of mine at work today lamented how sad the Cubs are playing in Spring training right now.  He’s a Cub fan.  Usually one of the most vocal.  But he doesn’t care.  The hope that springs eternal (for over a hundred years eternal) has been extinguished.

“Oh, that just means the Cubs are going to win it all.  Bad Spring training means great season, right?”

I had to rush to the bathroom to throw up after I told him that.  Gag.

It does seem like their has been some clandestine meeting of Cub fans, a training session for losers.  Cub fans are all saying the same thing this year, not a surprise because they always do, but this year they are not saying “We have waited until next year and this is THE year!”.  No.  What Cub fans are saying this year is truly annoying, enough that I think I am going to buy one of those inflatable souvenir bats, a Cub version, and swat the next Cub fan that says “nope, it is going to be a rebuilding year for at least the next three years”.

Theo Epstein has created a new Cub fan — one that loses optimistically.  Amazing.  Cub fans have finally embraced the park district sports mentality.  At the end of the season, will Epstein be calling each player on the field to receive their participation trophies.

Probably not.  That would mean they would have to participate.

Meanwhile, I will continue to bask in the glory of 2006 and 2011 World Series championships.  Ahhhhhhh.  Now that’s optimism.