Looks like the Village People should add a farmer to the band. It’s official — Illinois has joined the ranks of fairness by recognizing same sex marriage as a legal and viable option.
A rainbow suddenly appeared over my home state this afternoon while simultaneously the gates of hell opened underneath.
I am confused. I am conflicted. I am going to wear a water pistol in a holster and shoot every stinking gay PDA that I encounter. Guess I should stay away from Chick Fil A, eh? There are many, many, too many questions swirling around in the vast expanse of my head, such as —
How soon will it be before there are more soccer dikes than soccer moms?
Or one of those couples moves next door? Will they be asking to borrow my spandex?
Now gays get to decide who is the one to do the bills, mow the lawn, wash the car, take out the garbage – all that important stuff that married couples have to decide. Do they flip a coin each week to decide who is the guy?
Is it wrong for me to laugh at them and yell “SUCKERS, YOU REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING YOURSELF INTO!!”? I probably shouldn’t call them suckers.
What’s next, their own professional football league? The GayFL? Team name suggestions — the Dallas I Want To Be A Cowboys, the Chicago Bear Backs, Pittsburg Steel Sealers, Been Gay Packers, San Francisco Sixty Niners, Seattle Shehawks, Minnesota Viqueens.. to name a few. I suppose the Rams would still be the Rams.
How soon before a church pastor gets fired for performing a gay marriage ceremony? For not performing one? Should there now be an Illinois law protecting the right for churches to recognize the separation of church and state?
Is it ever going to be OK for a Christian to honestly express what they believe about homosexuality? Will social acceptance skew the truth of the Bible?
Which gay spouse will be asking the “does my butt look big in this “question?
Stay tuned. I am certain there will be more questions to follow.