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Guess what this selfie was taken with?

Guess what this selfie was taken with?

My wonderful daughter is one of the most responsible and conscientious people that I know.  Careful.  Level headed and smart.

Until it comes to a phone or iPod.

Alyssa becomes a typical teenage girl once her hands touch a Touch.  Or a cell phone.  My nerdy curly haired redhead with a near perfect grade point average turns into a valley girl, fingers working the keypad nimbly with the practiced ease of any American teen.  Most executive assistants (i.e. secretary — but I would get blog smacked for using that term, so I am safely putting it in parentheses) would be jealous of the keypad skill most teenage girls possess.  Indeed I take advantage of Alyssa’s adept secretarial.. er.. executive assistant-like talent now and then when I need a quick text sent.

I threw her off last Tuesday afternoon while we were out Christmas shopping together.  Her mother sent me a text while I was driving.  I handed my flip phone to Alyssa and asked her to send a text back.  You would have thought I was asking her to dismantle a nuclear bomb.  She grunted at me with a superior grin, then proceeded to take a full two minutes to type out a text.


Alyssa was shopping with me for a specific reason.  Monday night, she had demonstrated another teen female skill.  While kicking back and basking in my new holiday freedom, my last work day of this year complete, I answered my cell phone to hear a sobbing and quavering voice exclaim


*sniff snort sniff*

“I can’t believe this happened again.”

*sniff sniff*

“I lost my cell phone”


*snort sniff*

“AND my iPod… WHAT DO I DO?”

Alyssa was at work.  Frantic, the tools essential to female teenage existence ripped from her grasp.  She called me because Dad helped find her stolen cell phone four years ago, the thief stupid enough to use the stolen phone to call his girlfriend to brag.  He destroyed the phone, but I found him and his parents forced him to buy a replacement.  Two years later, I used my cell phone upgrade to replace the phone she had broken.  And I found a deal to replace an iPod that was stolen from her.  Calling Dad calmed her down because she knew Dad would solve the emergency.

It’s Christmas.  I wait until I get my Christmas bonus on my last day of work before I buy presents.

Teenage girl is now in teenage girl hog heaven — she has a new iPhone to lose.  And it cost me $30.  Alyssa will pay the monthly fee for the phone.  Problem solved.

Until next time…..