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NEWSFLASH!!!!  I AM A GENIOUS!!!!

I have discovered the cure for the flu.  That’s right, after many years of anxious procrastination, I have finally figured out an instant remedy to all of influenza’s dastardly symptoms.

Go to the doctor.

Thank you.  Please pay your bill upon receipt.

Those few sick individuals who have read past blogs of mine might recall that this is also my solution for mechanical failures, especially for cars.  I do not take my car to the doctor, however.  I take it to a mechanic.

Thank you.  Please pay your bill before driving away.

Wednesday afternoon, on cue with work perfect attendance being reset at the first of the year, I began to experience the onset of flu symptoms.  Since I often feel flu like symptoms while at work, I was not sure I actually had the flu.  Coughing fits began to erupt, especially after reading your blogs, and I began to feel achy (and it was Wednesday, not Tuesday).  My cheeks were flushed, so was my face, with fever.  My coworkers, all of them, thought it was a bit odd to find me checking out my cheeks in the bathroom mirror.  By eight on Wednesday night, I was wrapped in several blankets with a raging headache, my only choice to escape the headache was sleep.

And that I did.  Miriam used to think I was strange (like most) because my usual reaction to the flu or a strong cold is to drink a lot.. of water.. and sleep.  Rest.  Rest.  Rest.  And pee a lot.  Over 36 hours straight of sleep, until mid morning Friday.  No, I am not a weenie.  Sleep works.  Flushing the crud out works.

And so does going to the doctor.

Going to the doctor is always Miriam’s first solution for sickness.  She woke me up several times on Thursday to tell me to go to the doctor.

“Uh sure… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

Yesterday, Saturday, she hounded me about at least going to the urgent care center.  She needed me to take Alyssa to work in the morning.  Why not stop by urgent care on the way home?

I actually sort of possibly maybe listened.  I actually drove to the urgent care, got out of my car (I still felt minor flu nastiness), walked into the building to see the waiting room overflowing out into the lobby.  Forget it.  No way am I waiting three hours with sick people, even if I am used to it, just to see a doctor.  Those three hours would be better spent at rest.

So I went home.  Rested.  Then went back today.  The wait was about thirty minutes.

Yes, I are smart.

The urgent care doctor looked at me like I have three nipples on my forehead — “What are you doing here?  You are perfectly healthy.”

All I had to do was go to the doctor.  CURED!

Genious.

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