20150102_160134I am happier than a pig in peppermint doo doo.  The gods at Proctor and Gamble finally heard my prayers.  This is absolutely I can’t believe I am this excited about something this mundane awesome.

Mint Chocolate Crest toothpaste.  YES!!!!!

I am taking the mint chocolate trek.  Be adventurous they say.  I am.  Way adventurous.  Off the charts adventurous.

My breath smells like a Junior Mint.  I am now even more irresistible to the ladies.  Chocolate aphrodisiac, babeeeeeee.

The package does contain this disclaimer — Warning Keep out of reach of children under 6 yrs. of age.  If more than used for brushing is accidentally swallowed, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away.

Whew.  They didn’t say rubbing it all over my body was risky to my health.

There is also a second warning — do not swallow.

And a third — to minimize swallowing use a pea-sized amount in children under 6.  IN children under 6.

My mouth tingled as I brushed, the exquisite taste bringing me to a froth as I brushed.  Seriously, this stuff tastes really good.  Take it from a guy who buys bags of Brachs peppermint nougats at Christmas and whose favorite candies are Junior Mints and York Peppermint patties.  I am in heaven.  I am going to be brushing my teeth every five minutes, likely until my teeth are just nubs.

Let’s hope the makers of Polident come out with a mint chocolate variety.