I picked her up a few days ago, anticipation of meeting her a buzz that kept me awake the entire night before.  She’s expensive, but very much worth it, her handler assured me with a wink and a sly grin as he brought her through a curtain from the back room, her quiet gaze averted.  This was costing me dearly, a sum worth nearly half of my bonus, my fear of buyer’s remorse growing as I reached into my wallet.  Lust began to rise as I took in her subtle curves, a dark sleek beauty who promised unfettered performance and reckless experiences beyond the realm of my imagination.  In a moment she would be mine alone to do with as I pleased, a mount who would respond passionately to my every thrust.  One look at her told me that she would be fast.

She has no name.  Until we know each other, I will refer to her only as ‘mine’.

There was no use taking her home.  Not right away.  My curiosity needed to be satisfied immediately, my excitement bottled up and ready to be loosed, an urge ignored for so long that it could not be denied.  No.  Her test must come now.  My favorite destination was close by, a secluded woods with occasional views of the river, a quiet private place where we could be alone to explore and experiment without shame, a playground I have visited many times before.  This first time would bring the pleasure of fresh discovery, the heightened desire brought by the new adding to the enjoyment.

Mine waited for me, naked and ready, behind my car as I prepared.  I ran my hands over her as I admired her, looking for imperfection and finding none, groaning with appreciation as my fingers caressed every detail.  This was going to be incredible.  Mine was exotic, my mind already rehearsing the scenarios soon to be reality.

There was one defect, a small one really that I knew I would get used to after riding her enough — her tail was a bit too soft for my taste.  If I pushed too hard, she might move a bit too much underneath me.  That soft tail would feel good when I took it easy, I knew, and she bounced just right underneath me as we started in.  I liked the way she let me handle her, responding nimbly to two fingers.  Warming up is my normal routine, common sense telling me not to rush it, savor the ride instead.  However, Mine felt so good between my legs that I ignored common sense, instead I pushed hard and fast, my heart beating hard, gasping with pleasure.  Ride me harder, she begged.

We were not quite in rhythm, not the best for either of us, so the inevitable happened.  She went down.  Threw me hard, then went down.  There would be bruises the next day, for sure.  Before our time in the woods was over that evening, we would go down four times.  That’s more times than I went down all last year.

What can I say.  Mine is a very dirty girl.  She makes me want to try things I have never tried before, encourages me to go there, shows me the way.  After just a few days together, she has allowed me very little rest.  We visited my favorite place a day later, after I hardened her tail a little and added some lube.  That second visit was perfection, her rhythm in sync with mine, so much that I didn’t want to stop, wanted to ride her forever.  I even shared her with a new friend.  We showed off in front of a family and kids.


My boss came through with half of my performance bonus last Wednesday.  The bike shop is closed on Wednesday, so I had to wait to get my dream mountain bike until Thursday.  At my previous employer, I suffered through the last two years of my employment there with the prize for 25 years of service as my motivation to perservere.  Had I made it to 25 years, I was a few months short when I was fired, I would have had a new bicycle.  That was all I wanted from them.  My new boss was also fired by the same company and promised to make it right.  Less than a year later he did.

Mine is the first new bicycle I have had since I was married 23 years ago and by far the nicest new bicycle I have ever had.  Don’t get me wrong, I have several very nice bicycles, but I am not the first owner of any of them.  Even my titanium Serotta Legend Ti is used.  I am the third owner of that bicycle.

I didn’t take her right out on the trails the day I bought her, though.  I took her to work with me, showed her off, stared at her all afternoon in my office while I waited to ride her that evening.  Appropriate for my mood, the sun came out and the weather was perfect for the first ride.

Here she is — a 2014 Specialized Camber FSR Comp 29 with dual suspension, including an auto sag rear shock, hydraulic disc brakes, aluminum frame.  She is beautiful.