There and Back Again

There and Back Again is the title of my daughter’s new blog, a blog she created to tell of her adventures while she is in Guatemala for 8 weeks.  My daughter has always wanted to do some teaching overseas, so she leaped on the chance to do that through a college program.

There and Back Again, A Redhead’s Journey

If you visit, you will find a girl who writes with a serious smile on her face, speaks from a heart that belongs to God.  Along the way, you will find out a few things about a 21 year old young woman who also has a heart for teaching and is not afraid of the adventure of travelling to an unfamiliar place.

I like reading about her adventures.  I like just as well how she shares what she believes.  We have spent countless hours talking about our faith, she has learned to believe from her mother, and life has taught her quite a few things already.  Perhaps she will keep blogging.. and I hope she does as it’s nice to see a little more of what is inside of her.  Reading her blog reminds me a little of my own life journey, gets me excited to see her own journey unfold, makes me want to see what she learns.

Give her a visit!

Resurrection

Tags

bicycle, life, personal

Old friends never go away.  Sometimes years go by without a visit or thought, but all of a sudden that friend is back, as good as the memories that live with them.  Often times that friend returns a little more dusty than the last time I saw them, but the shine is still there under the dust.

My Univega via Montega was the bike that brought me back to cycling, some 25 years ago now.  The frame is sturdy steel, not terribly heavy but not a lightweight either, set up as a hybrid.  When I first started cycling, my goal was to lose weight, a second surgery to my right knee made it difficult to run long distances.  I would finish a run and immediately had to grab an ice bag to cut the swelling.  Cycling had been prescribed as therapy after my second surgery, an exercise that strengthens the muscles around the joint and helps keep it stable.  Also, I had ballooned to 235 pounds, not exactly healthy for my 6’1″ frame or for my fragile knee.  I changed my eating habits and started cycling in July 1992.  By that November I had gone from 235 pounds to 192 pounds.  That bike carried me along the crushed limestone paths of the Prairie Path and Fox River trail in the west suburbs of Chicago.  I caught the bug quick, soon logging 400 miles or more a week, the motivation fueled by literally watching the fat melt off of my body after each ride.  The transformation was dramatic.

The next year I rode my first 7 day bike tour — RAGBRAI.  I was hooked.  I began riding my bike to work in an effort to balance family time and riding time.  When we bought our first house, roughly 12 miles away from work, my car stayed at home the majority of the time.  A few years after I started cycling, my car blew an engine in November and I didn’t bother to replace it for an entire year (yes, I rode through northern Illinois winters).  My Univega was truly a familiar friend.  We spent a lot of time together.  I kept it clean, maintained it myself, and it rewarded me with flawless performance.

Over the years, other bicycles came into the picture and I rode my Univega less and less.  But I never got rid of the bicycle, partly because of its sentimental value and partly due to the fact that it is truly a nice ride.

I pulled the Univega down from the rafters this afternoon.  My new home is right off the forest preserve paths as well as the Prairie Path.  I need it again.  It’s dusty and dirty, needs a lot of TLC to be rideable again, but it’s time to renew the relationship with my old friend.  It will probably be a slow project getting the Univega back to riding shape, but I may assemble the old parts before I start replacing them, take it out for a ride before cold weather sets in.  The Univega is going to be a winter project, I think.

Old friendships never go away, even when that old friend is a bike.

 

Pokey

I I

Can’t Fight Crazy

Tags

Humour, lessons learned, life, neighbors, personal

Wise advice given to me several times yesterday by friends and neighbors — Steve, there’s no sense in trying to fight with a crazy person.  One friend changed the word fight to reason.  I get it.  I really do get it.  In his book, Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis said that we know what is decent behavior, we want to be decent, but each and every person fails at some point in every day.  We fail to practice ourselves the kind of behavior we expect from other people.

I am trying not to act like a crazy person.  I am dealing with the crazy person.  I so much want to fight back, but I know my friends are correct.  It really is difficult to not confront this person face to face, fight her, take her on, make her stop.  My friends tell me that I expect her to act like a decent person, in the way I expect a good person to behave, like every person is hard wired to honor what they know is the right way, unselfish.

When I returned early yesterday morning at 4 AM, after taking my daughter to the airport, the confrontation with my rude downstairs neighbor was really eating at me, enough that I slept very little during the three hours I had left to sleep.  I fumed, fought the anger inside of me that wanted to fight back, the guy who wants to be decent warring with the guy who just wants to put on the gloves.  I know what is right.  But I also know that I need to reach some kind of resolution — and that resolution needs to be my own, not hers.  It’s up to my neighbor to solve her own demons.  What I do know is that my neighbor is controlling, I have allowed myself to be controlled, have been tiptoeing around my condo when I don’t really need to.  I thought I was keeping peace, but what I really am doing is enabling my downstairs neighbor’s perpetually bad behavior.

So, I wrote her a letter, knowing that it will solve nothing as far as she is concerned.  But putting my thoughts in writing takes the guy with the gloves out of the equation, allows me to move on.  I don’t need to fight with her.  I only need to live in my condo, not worry so much (within common sense reason) how it affects the numbskull who lives in the condo below me.

I also called the property manager, as well as talked to my next door neighbors.  Each revealed a common theme — my downstairs neighbor has behaved the same way towards each owner of my condo unit.  The property manager assured me that any complaints lodged by my crazy neighbor would be dismissed.  The manager and my neighbors assured me they are on my side.

One thing I am certain of — the woman calls my daughter a whore again, the gloves come on.

My neighbor copied two pages from an old copy of our condo rules, highlighted the word ‘guests’ and ‘excessive noise’, placed the pages in front of my door yesterday.  I responded by taping my letter to her front door.

Therese,

Thanks for greeting my daughter and I in such an unpleasant, rude manner last night.  All I can say is that you should be apologizing for the behavior and attitude that you demonstrated.  I don’t anticipate that you care about good will or else you would not be behaving the way you have behaved since I moved in this past April.  I have lived in apartments, houses, condos, dorm rooms my entire life and have always had excellent relationships with my neighbors.  Sadly, I fear that is not possible with you as it currently stands.  I have never encountered such selfish, childish behavior from any neighbor.  Congratulations on being the first such neighbor that I have ever had.

For your information, the young woman with me (as she kindly explained to you) last night is my daughter.  She slept at my condo for the first time last night.  My daughter is a college senior and is completing her student teaching right now.  The reason why she stayed with me last night is so I could take her to O’Hare airport.  For the next 8 weeks, she will be student teaching at an international school in Guatemala City.  Her flight departed at 5:45 this morning, the reason that we were up at 2:30.  When you so rudely confronted us, we were on the way to my garage to leave for the airport.  It was an excellent time with her, but your behavior certainly could have put a damper on our mood.  I love my daughter, cherish the opportunities to spend time with her, so I do not appreciate someone whose behavior gets in the way of that enjoyment.

I have tried to be as polite and courteous to you as possible, including being careful about what times I use my water and appliances.  When I arrive in my condo, I take my shoes off at the door so I don’t make as much noise when I walk.  So when you yelled out your objection “you are always flushing your toilet”, I was surprised.. and maybe I should not be surprised.  Apparently you have been rude to everyone who has lived in my unit, including the same kind of complaints about flushing the toilet, etc….

Since you have not voiced any objections to my condo habits since last April, I considered them resolved.  Why you decided to voice them so angrily last night, without any discussion or warning, I don’t know.  You certainly had no reason to be angry.

I want to continue to be a courteous and polite neighbor.  I suggest you take the time to discuss your grievances with me in a calm manner.  I will listen and try to change what is possible to change.  Unfortunately, a toilet needs to be flushed, but even that I have tried to limit.  You and your husband are welcome to visit and discuss.

If you can’t deal with living in a first floor condo, may I suggest that you sell your condo and move to a place where you do not have neighbors that live above you?  Otherwise, I ask that we deal with each other kindly.  I do not plan on moving any time soon.

Sincerely,

Steve Henry

Unit G

Kid Week

Tags

life, personal, relationships

My kids are 18 and 21, no longer live with me, so it’s a real blessing when I get the opportunity to spend time with them.  Even better is when I get to spend time with them because they have sought me out.  That’s the way it was this week.

Both are different in their motivation, each unique.  My son likes sports, is on the golf team at the community college he attends, and he likes it when I foot the bill.  The daughter, on the other hand, is like a lot of daughters in that she just wants me to know that she likes me and always makes sure that we spend time together when she is in town.  Of course, she also likes Lou Malnatis pizza and books, so I think that helps her want to see her dad.  I buy and I always read along with her!

This past Sunday and Monday, my son and I travelled to Arcadia, Michigan for a round of golf at Arcadia Bluffs Golf Course.  I booked a room for Sunday night at the Bluffs Lodge, right on the golf course.  As we arrived at the course Sunday evening, we were treated to a spectacular view of the sunset from the bluffs above Lake Michigan.  Our jaws dropped as we drove along the unbelievably beautiful golf course to the club house and lodge, checked our clubs at the bag drop, dropped our things off in the spacious room, then had dinner in the clubhouse restaurant.  The view of the lake and the rosy sunset as we ate dinner seemed to make everything taste better.  The hospitality had already been outstanding, our golf clubs would be stored overnight and on the golf cart ready for us at our tee time the next morning.  Our room overlooked the golf course, and we sat out on the patio adjoining our room to take in the stars on a cloudless night.  In Chicagoland, even out in the western suburbs where we live, the light pollution is too great to really see the stars.  Later on, the moon lit up the golf course outside of the room, a reason to forego sleep just to enjoy the rare beauty.

Sunday and Monday, I had roughly 11 hours of windshield time with my son, spent 4 hours on the golf course with him, ate meals with him, slept in the same room with him.  It was without a doubt the best time that I have had with him in years.

The golf course was amazing.  I suck at golf, but it didn’t matter.  The scenery was worth the trip alone.  And I played the difficult course fairly well, watched my son shoot 2 over for the round.

This morning at 3, I dropped my daughter off at O’Hare airport.  She is on an airplane destined for Guatemala City, a much anticipated 8 week trip to finish off her student teaching.  My daughter will be teaching at an international Christian school there.  I am encouraged at how prepared she is.  We spent last evening together, her first night staying at my place since I moved in.  Of course, there was the Lou from Lou Malnatis pizza.  The evening closed with tea and conversation on the couch, her bags packed in my car.  At 2:30 this morning, the alarm went off, she freshened up and off we went.

Not before my daughter got to “meet” my unpleasant downstairs neighbor.  As we passed her door on the way to my garage, my neighbor barged out of her front door and started barking at us for flushing the toilet.  I told her that she was being rude and to go back to bed.  My daughter, angry but controlled, told her that she was sorry that the flushing toilet bothered her and excused herself as we were on our way to the airport for her Guatemala trip, letting my neighbor know that she was yelling at my daughter.  I had to go upstairs a minute later to retrieve car keys, made sure that I stomped heavily on my way out the door.  The confrontation only dampened our mood for a minute — we only had a few more minutes together and nothing was going to ruin that.

I dropped my girl off at the terminal, helped her carry her three suitcases to the airline counter, hugged her, tears rolling as I walked away.  She texted me a few minutes later, already at her gate.

Good kid week.  Let’s see how it ends — I am having a party at my place Saturday night!