How’s that for a title?  As if there are not already enough reasons to ignore my blog posts, I just gave everyone a reason to avoid my drivel simply by reading the title.  You’re welcome.

My nose does smell like curdled cheese now and then.  More specifically, matter is collecting in that little crevice next to each nostril, resulting in a rather nasty curdled cheese smelling odor.  When I first noticed the odor, I thought there was some animal invading my condo and depositing a turd in the corner.  After days of searching and a particularly strenuous ride (it does happen), I wiped the sweat from the corners of my nose then took my bike helmet off.  The stench on my hand was identical to the mysterious foul odor in my house.  Immediately I experienced simultaneous relief and shock — relief that my house was OK, shock that the offensive offender was yours truly.

How long had my face emitted an odor that resembled a jug of milk that had resided in my fridge for a few months?

I assumed that my personal grooming had lacked just enough detail to be the cause.  Perhaps the sweat was not being properly removed from my nose crevices?

I just looked up the proper term for “nose crevices”.  According to one website, the crevices between your nose and cheeks are called “nose wings”.  You do not want to be downwind of the wind beneath my nose wings.

It’s also a bit ironic that the foul odor was literally right under my nose.  In an effort to correct the aromatic issue, I began washing my face twice a day with a wash cloth, not just splashing and soaping.  A quick bit of internet research revealed a startling internet “fact” —

The pores in the creases between your nose and cheeks create and store more oil and grease than anywhere else on your body.

Who knew?  Maybe most people do.  I am one of those who did not have a clue.  It was a bit of a relief that it’s a common thing.  After all, I am getting older and I thought a stinky nose was one of those old man things, like hair growing out one’s nostrils and ears.  Apparently, the gunk under the nose wings is called nasal sebum and that space is extra oily due to the fact that the nose contains more amounts of squalene (whatever that is — but it sounds like something that should be stinky foul).  Normal washing may not get it all.  An astringent or peroxide may be necessary to do a better job.

It only helps some of the time.  Drat.  No wonder the girls sometimes wrinkle up their nose after kissing me (it happens — at least the kissing part).

cremoI think it might be the shave cream that I use.  Rather than used canned shave foam, I buy a cream that is dispensed from a tube, called Cremo.  It’s a thick, slick paste that is applied after wetting the face with hot water.  Not only is the stuff amazing, a tube usually lasts around two months.  Canned foam lasts about a week, less if I give myself foam horns.  The directions on the Cremo tube say to apply a small dollop since a little goes a long way.  I usually slap on a bit too much, squeeze a large half dollar sized glob on my palm and rub my palms together, then put a thick layer quickly over my face and neck.  After shaving, I go right to the shower and rinse my already washed face in the spray.  Cremo says the stuff is good for my skin, so it shouldn’t be a bad thing if a little remains, right?

I am pretty sure that the Cremo is adding to the collection in the nose wing crevices.

I wonder if Waterpik has a nose wing attachment?

There will be more to report on the sebum story, I am sure.