I am doing a happy dance right now, Snoopy style, without heels. Those are next. It’s a cautious happy dance, however, filled with the careful doubt that comes with hearing a rumor.
Hallelujah, praise Jehoshaphat! If there were pews in my condo unit, I would be jumping them with concrete boots on, running up and down the aisles without a care in the world.
No, I am not pregnant, even with my winter gut in full rut.
No, Elizabeth Perkins did not accept one of my proposals, nor did she issue another restraining order.
No, every single possible song “performed” and recorded by Cher or Bette Midler has not been permanently and irreparably destroyed.
Specialized has not issued me a free pass to any bike in their stable, with free upgrades for life.
I don’t buy lottery tickets.
So, you may ask, why am I so overjoyed?
The wicked witch may be leaving Oz. I won’t have to throw a bucket of water on her or dodge flying monkeys. My lady friend will not be required to march across my dining room floor in her high heeled ruby slippers. Rumor is that my polish persimmon princess of a downstairs neighbor is going to list her condo unit for sale come this Spring.
How do I know this, you may ask? You may ask.
My newest neighbor, Carol, moved in next door to me earlier this year. Carol is a pleasant retired widow, one of those sunny characters who always greets me with a smile. We became friends almost right after she moved in, when she rolled out of her garage on her bicycle in full cycling regalia. I was out front loading my mountain bike on my car, so she came over to ask if I would loan her my bike tire pump. In the evenings, we often exchange pleasantries across the balcony.
Carol is also a bit of a gossip. That is coming in handy as I have found out. You see, Carol is home during the day, as is Teresa the Terrible. Recently, they met each other while Carol was walking her dog. Teresa shared stories about the devil that lives above her.
Carol figured out who she was talking about. 🙂
Carol could not wait to tell me that she had met my best fan. She laughed and said that if she didn’t already know me, she would have thought that Teresa really has a jerk for a neighbor.
This morning, as I took my trash out to the corner.
No, I don’t own a Trek any more.
I digress. As I took my trash out to the corner, Carol emerged from her garage, smirk pasted on her face. She informed me that she had news I might be just a little happy to hear. TERESA TOLD HER SHE IS LISTING HER CONDO UNIT FOR SALE IN THE SPRING!
Anyone want to be my neighbor?