The Redhead Plans Ahead

My daughter has always been a planner, one of the things about her that I admire. Growing up, she was the one in her group of friends who made sure something was going on, like the summer she bought a season pass to Six Flags and convinced her friends to buy passes as well. Not only did she plan the trips to the park, but she made sure that there were days reserved for guests. I went with her as her guest several times that summer. She is also a roller coaster junkie, another thing I like about her.

Those planning skills will hopefully pay off in the months to come. Her February has been very eventful, what with a carefully orchestrated marriage proposal happening. I give the guy props, as he went all out, decorated a gazebo with flowers and rose petals, lit the path to the gazebo with luminaries. Prior to the proposal, he sent me a Facebook invite, then video chatted me using the FB app after I accepted the invite. He is a proper and polite young man, to the point of asking for my blessing before asking for her hand. I was kind to him, told him that he needs to ride some singletrack with me this summer. After all, I know the trails and there are plenty of places in the woods to bury a body (chuckle chuckle heh heh). They want to get married this summer, something that is really going to challenge her planning skills. The short time period is enough of a challenge to the preparations, a daunting task. What adds difficulty is that she is making the arrangements from another country. Both kids want to get married in the USA while they are on break from their teaching jobs in Turkey. As long as there are no complications, she will arrive her sometime around the second week of June. It looks like the date is July 26. That is not much time!

If you checked what day of the week July 26 falls on, you may be scratching your head as to why she has chosen a Monday. If money was no object for the wedding, then it would be on a Saturday. But having the wedding on a Monday saves a little over $2000 on the venue alone. There is a slim budget, as far as I know. Not only is my daughter a planner, but she also is a saver and has a decent amount of money in reserve for the wedding. However, I am a divorced man (need I say more) which means I have very little I can contribute financially to the wedding. It was a bit awkward when she messaged me and had to ask how much I thought I would be able to contribute. I know she hated asking, for one. If I had the money, I would give freely to her. As it is, I am going to put as much aside from my tax refund and give until it hurts. That was part of the awkwardness of the ask for money, at least for me. I really want to give to my children. Thankfully, she really just wanted to know how much she can budget, told me that any amount of money is fine. She knows my heart. After all, she is my daughter.

In the few weeks since the February 9th marriage proposal, she has already done a lot. The guest list is already assembled, a challenge for her due to COVID. The venue she chose limits the amount of guests to 100. Considering her mother has six sisters and I have two brothers, that pretty much means her cousins (she is close with them) and many friends will not be able to attend the ceremony and reception. I talked to her the other day, offered to rent the condominium association clubhouse for a party the Saturday before the wedding, so her friends can be a part of the wedding.

One of my assigned tasks is to taste test the possible caterers, something I am well qualified for, especially since they want BBQ for the reception. Let’s hope she doesn’t get sauce on her dress! Also, she has asked me to pick out the song for the daughter/dad dance. Her request is an Earth Wind and Fire song of my choice, since that band brings back the days of when she and I used to listen to their greatest hits album in my car on the way to/from her basketball games. She wants to choreograph a funky dance for us to do. She knows her dad is a ham, watched me act sketch comedy for years, so she wants to take advantage of that. My daughter is like me that way, so the dance should be a blast to perform.

I am trying not to think about one of the possible sour notes for the wedding — seeing my ex’s family. In the four years since the separation, I have not seen or talked to most of them. Her one sister who lives in this area has kept in touch, but I have only seen one other sister and brother-in-law in the last four years. Most may be glad to see me, but I can think of a few who could be looking for a reason to take out their angst. If it happens, I just need to be ready to walk away. This may seem unrealistic and stupid to say, but I am a little disappointed that at least some of my ex brother-in-laws haven’t talked to me since the separation. I was close with many of them. One lived with my family on two separate occasions for more than a year. I reached out to him before and after my wife and I separated. He never responded to me. He is married to the sister who is usually the most vocal and antagonistic, so that may be the reason.

That aside, there is plenty to be thankful for. I am looking forward to seeing what my daughter puts together. Judging from what I already know, it will be a fine affair.

2021 has already been eventful. I spent a few days at Disney as a guest of my girlfriend. My daughter is getting married. My son is graduating from college (yes, another expense). Who knows what else!

TYTYTYTYTYTY

Santa Claus was always very intent on teaching me manners. Each Christmas, one of my stocking stuffers was always a little box of thank you cards. The fat man must have been in cahoots with my mother, because she meticulously recorded what gifts were given to me and to my brothers. We received our presents, got enough time to play (and break) the toys we were given, then sometime during our Christmas break mom called us to the kitchen table to write out our thank you cards. For some reason, I hated the chore, maybe because I felt uncomfortable with the whole process. Why was it a gift if I had to write a thank you card for it? I mean, it was work to write those cards, then address the envelope. I said thanks in person, may have been slapped up side the head once or twice if I forgot to say it. My parents, especially my mom, taught me to be polite. It was important to them and I think it was a necessary part of their generation.

I can’t remember the last time I wrote a thank you card. It’s not that I don’t express my gratitude for a gift. These days, it’s just as appropriate to say thanks in a text, maybe take it a step further and brag about it on social media, tag the gift giver and give them kudos. It’s still important to me to be grateful, to say thanks. The necessity to be polite and to properly say thanks is still imprinted on my brain.

My son texted me today, asked me for the email address of a friend of mine. I hesitated when I responded, mainly because I didn’t know why he asked for the email address. But I figured there was a good reason my son was asking. After all, he really admires this friend of mine, so much that Nate has hung out with us a few times. Jim is a director at the company I work for — the boss of my boss’s boss. Nate thinks that is pretty cool. Jim is also the person who recommended him for the internship he was hired for this summer. As it turns out, that was the reason Nate wanted Jim’s email address — he wants to write Jim a note of thanks.

My son did learn something about the importance of saying thanks, whether from me or his mother or from a class he took at school. It’s important that he did. Heyyyyyyy, maybe he will say thanks to me some day!

Ironically, my daughter also messaged me today and asked me for money. She never asks for money, but she always makes sure she says thanks. The wedding plans are in full swing now. Her boyfriend popped the question last week and she has an engagement ring on her finger. That means she needs money and she wants to know how much she can count on from her dad. Funny, I was just about to ask her if I could borrow some money. Kidding, just kidding. I’m not broke. It’s not cycling season yet.

One final thought on giving thanks. Something I learned only a few years ago, during the time of my separation and divorce, was the importance of recognizing the daily blessings in my life. When I consciously looked for blessings, I was amazed at how many go unnoticed each day. That changed my prayer life, as thanks have increasingly become a part of my prayers each day. I wake up with prayers of thanks, go to sleep at night with thanks. Funny, that was a habit both of my parents demonstrated to me, yet I don’t think that example took hold until now.

Thanks should be habitual. Thanks needs to be learned, I suppose, at least for most people.

I wonder how the land I live in, the world, would change if everyone learned the importance of giving thanks.

A Flock of Robins

We don’t get a flock of seagulls in these parts. If your mind immediately substituted seagulls for robins, like mine did, be worried. That means you think like me.

My cell phone didn’t take a good picture, but, well, these are robins. In the snow. Outside my window.

Robins are poetically considered to be a sign of Spring’s weather arriving. Perhaps that flock of robins outside my windows this morning are a bit confused. Some of the coldest weather so far this year arrived over night. It was +4 degrees when I emerged from hibernation this morning, the bright sunshine finally waking me from my cocoon of three blankets. Temperatures are predicted to dip well into the negative digits during the next few days.

Mornings like this are wonderful, the cold weather outside creating a wonderland in the bright sunshine, light magnified by the thick layer of snow. My windows face a wooded berm, a retreat for wild creatures (do squirrels count as wild creatures?) and a place the birds love to frolick. Birds frolick. I spent an hour this morning with a cup of coffee, simply watching the birds — cardinals (who seem to travel as couples), finches, orioles, and the flock of robins. It was the flock of robins that initially grabbed my attention, drew me to my peaceful time in front of the windows.

I was excited to see the robins, the little poems of robin red breast that I learned in my childhood making me think of the Spring time weather that surely must be around the corner. After a few minutes of contemplation, I did what every person does in this age of smart phones – I searched the internet for ‘are robins a sign of Spring?’.

Google can be such a kill joy.

According to the first Google entry I found, robins are not necessarily a sign of Spring’s soon arrival, although they can be. Flocks of robins may have wintered. Since the little patch of woods outside my window extends roughly 200 yards to the river and to the nearby wooded forest preserves, this flock probably has been here all winter. They just picked my piece of the wooded world as their spot this morning.

I am glad they did. As is usual, I find myself in February lamenting the tightness of my clothing, longing for the bicycle rides and exercise that comes with warm weather. That exercise always remedies the winter expansiveness. My mind needs the encouragement of the coming relief. The robins bring that reminder.

All the birds are having a great time outside my window right now. Don’t they know how cold it is? Maybe the activity is a way to keep warm.

Two squirrels just hopped by, large leaps over the snow drifts, clutching chunks of pumpkin rind that my neighbor puts out for them. I like watching the squirrels from a distance, don’t like them so much when they are on my balcony. They ravage my flowers during the Summer and Fall months. This time of year, they go crazy searching for the remnants they think they may have hidden on my balcony. One crazed varmint leapt to my living room screen door in front of me the other day, crawled up and down in an apparent rage, undaunted when I banged on the window directly in front of it. A young hawk perched on the trees in front of my window the other day, probably in search of fresh squirrel. I hope it finds a meal. There could be a few less haughty squirrels around here.

Spring may not be here soon enough. In the meantime, I guess I will set up my road bike on a trainer in front of a window, use the scene outside as motivation to prepare for the warm season to come. Gut, gut, go away, I know you will come again another day.

I will enjoy the beauty of this time while it is here. Every time of year brings the blessings of creation. I am thankful for that.

I am thankful for the poetry that Solomon graced us with and recorded in Ecclesiates 3:1-8.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

The whole third chapter is beautiful. Read it, whether you are religious or not. Pete Seeger was inspired by the words. How appropriate they are today.

Enjoy. May you contemplate the sight of a few robins today.

Shorts in a Snow Storm

Guess what. Guess Guess Guess.

My sugar momma took me to Disney. What a treat! We left early on Sunday morning as snow was falling on Chicagoland, arrived in Orlando to 80 degree weather. From Sunday through Wednesday, we enjoyed perfect Florida weather, cruised Disney in shorts and tee shirts. On Sunday afternoon, I even braved flip flops, a bit of a mistake as my feet hated me at the end of the evening. When you go to Disney, you walk and stand a whole lot.

Lisa is a Disney vet. She has a Disney time share and visits there several times a year. I had my own guide, who had an agenda to show me every possible bit of the magic kingdom she could possibly expose me to. I was thankful I listened to the little voice that told me to buy a good pair of shoes before the trip. We logged over 20,000 steps a day. Sunday was Epcot, with a nice dinner at a french restaurant in the evening. Monday morning found us in the Animal Kingdom, in line early for the Avatar ride, an awesome virtual reality experience. Just as cool as the ride was the park outside the ride. It looked like we had stepped into Pandora. A few days later, when we visited Hollywood Studios and the Star Wars section of the park, the feeling was the same. Just as Universal has created an awesome Harry Potter experience (I loved that when I took my daughter there a few years ago), Disney has done the same with Star Wars, Avatar, and Toy Story. In the Animal Kingdom, guests are greeted by the tree of life from Avatar, a very cool sight.

Of all the parks, and we went to them all, I think I enjoyed the overall atmosphere of the Animal Kingdom the best. Epcot is cool with the international feel, but Animal Kingdom just was such a pleasant place. I enjoyed the safari, an excellent representation that made me feel I was right in Africa. The Everest roller coaster was fun, especially when it reached an unexpected ending at the top, then went backwards. With the exception of Space Mountain, no ride at Disney is rough or terrifying, which I think is the goal. I am a Six Flags and Kings Island roller coaster junkie, so I know how mild the rides at Disney are. The rides at Disney are not the real magic, in my opinion. It’s the whole experience.

From Animal Kingdom, we took a bus to the Grand Floridian resort. One of the great things about Disney is the transportation system — buses, boats, monorail, and sky way. Never once during the stay was it necessary to have a rental car or to take a taxi. There is even a bus that takes everyone to/from the airport.

The Grand Floridian is beautiful and elegant. If and when I visit again, I think I want to stay there. The lobby is spectacular. The monorail or a boat is accessible right from the hotel. After our lunch there, I opted for the monorail. When I visited Disney last, which was in 1978, the monorail was a big deal. It was just as awesome last week. It zipped us quietly to the Magic Kingdom. Since we were park hopping we had to wait a few minutes to enter. We weren’t allowed to enter until 2 PM. Once inside, the magic was instantaneous. Seeing the castle and the entrance is like stepping into a fantasy. The Magic Kingdom was our first exposure to a large crowd and to lots of children. Epcot and Animal Kingdom parks were not full to capacity, with less children. We rode a Toy Story ride first, then took in the Carousel of Progress (there’s a great, big, beautiful tomorrow). I was eager to ride Space Mountain, begged Lisa to ride, and was thrilled to no end. It was the big ride when I went to Disney in 1978.

We rode all the rides at Magic Kingdom. I was really disappointed in the Seven Dwarves Mine Ride. We waited in line forever for a very short, very mediocre ride. I was also disappointed that there were no fireworks. There were several things that were missing or added to the experience due to the pandemic — longer lines due to social distancing, wearing a mask all day (it was strictly enforced), washing hands endlessly, hand sanitizer stations everywhere, most interactive displays and many shops/restaurants closed. It was still wonderful.

Our first full day ended with a pizza shared outside at the Boardwalk, the lights and water mesmerizing. Our whole time there was shorts and tee shirt weather, and the place is very beautiful. After our meal, we took a boat across the lake to the Beach Club resort, which is where we stayed. Our room was great, much nicer than what I am used to. We spent some time in the hot tub and pool each night we were there. The room had a nice kitchen, so we had breakfast there each morning.

Tuesday was Hollywood Studios. Hollywood Studios is where the Star Wars rides are at. In order to get into the Ride the Resistance ride, you have to log into the Disney app at 7 AM to try to get a spot for the ride. We didn’t make it into the queue at 7, so we tried again at 1 and got a spot at 5 PM. When we got to HS, we headed for the Slinky Dog roller coaster in the Toy Story part of the park. It ended up being our favorite ride. We rode Slinky Dog three times. We also loved the Toy Story ride, where you are catapulted through an arcade, shooting as many of the targets as possible and competing with the other person in our car. Lisa beat my score both times we rode that ride, much to my dismay. We tried to get into Tower of Terror and the Rocking Roller Coaster, but both were shut down each time we tried. Perhaps my favorite at Hollywood Studios was the Runaway Train, an awesome ride through the history of Mickey and Minnie. It’s difficult to describe how well done that ride is. We had to wait in line a long time and it was well worth it.

Ride the Resistance is a must for any Star Wars fan. I won’t ruin it for anyone, but I have to tell you that you are captured and ‘interrogated’ as members of the Resistance. It’s fun. Because you can’t enter without obtaining a place through the app, the wait is minimal. We also rode the Smuggler’s Run ride, which would have been far better had we been pilots instead of engineers. I loved the Star Wars stuff. The whole part of that park was very cool.

Wednesday was our flight back to Chicagoland. There were only 24 people on our flight back. We came back to see what was left of the mess a snow storm had left in Chicago while we were gone. It didn’t feel so bad coming back to the gloom. The warmth and magic of Disney still is surrounding me, even a week later!

It was nice to have a real, honest to goodness vacation. I walked a ton, worked a lot for my enjoyment, but it was so good!