Three months in. Still newlyweds, something that seems surreal, strange to be saying at my age (I’m 61 now, Lisa just turned 63). People look at us and give us huge smiles if we mention we are newlyweds. Almost all want to know how we met, which is a sweet story in a way. I love to tell people that we were next door neighbors, watching each other, wondering about that person next door and curious about them. Lisa’s older brother, who also performed our wedding ceremony, told us that it’s not often that two people find someone so right for the other at our age. I am not sure that’s true, but it sure seems like God brought us together, allowed us to find each other at the right time.
We communicate well, learned early on how to live in a small space and share it, give each other space in that space when it’s needed — you don’t know how much of a gift that can be unless you have been in a relationship where that didn’t happen. Trust is integral to us both, a refreshing freedom, a magnetic bond that brings us even closer. Lisa was last married 19 years ago, I a mere 5 years ago, but we both have an independence that wouldn’t work if it was not for trust. Since cycling is such a large part of my existence, it’s important to me that the woman I am with trusts me enough, values me enough, to accept that part of me. Lisa encourages me to ride, sees how riding benefits me physically and emotionally, even checks the weather report to see which days are going to be the best opportunities for me to ride (I mountain bike — rain is not dirt’s best friend). I in turn, like it when she goes for walks with her friends, spends time with them, takes time to be with her son. We respect each other. She likes that I have friends, likes it when I have the occasional beer with them, and I am just as happy when she goes out with her friends.
Lisa likes to do things. So do I. This summer already has been a whirlwind of outdoor concerts, weekend trips, time at the pool, dominoes with friends, karaoke, and many nights just hanging out on the couch watching TV together. Our patio area is looking awesome, with flowers and plants, an awesome retreat (I am writing outside right now). We have worked hard together to make the space great. Many evenings include a quiet walk around our condo community, hand in hand. Last night we went out for dinner, had a little wine, saw the Elvis movie (disappointed). This time of year, we venture out and have a little wine out on the lawn at the local winery where we are members.
There are hiccups. Three months is the point where couples start seeing the reality of each other, we hear, and well, it’s the point where the crazy comes out if it exists. No crazy yet. What we do see is that this marriage is a very good thing. We are loving it. It’s only getting better. Maybe it took this long for us to get it right, to be ready for the rigors of a close relationship, to have the time to work on a relationship. All I know is that I like where I am at, where we are at.
Time to retreat to my man cave, something I will write about when I can. It’s the garage, with a 50″ TV, a subscription to MLBTV, and my bikes. She loves giving that space to me, likes what I have done with it. Let’s just say that I am meticulous, so she’s benefitting from that. The garage was a mess before I moved in.
Have a happy fourth, y’all!