• Things I Should Warn You About

shenrydafrankmann

~ Hopeful honesty from simple sentences

shenrydafrankmann

Tag Archives: recovery

The Road To Stir Crazy Starts Here

20 Wednesday Nov 2013

Posted by shenrydafrankmann in Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

customer, customer service, Farmers Insurance, fatherhood, marriage, medical leave, procrastination, recovery, stuff, writing

CL dryer

I’m telling myself that writing a blog this morning will get the gelatin that may be called my brain jiggling enough to start back writing the greatest American novel.  My bar is set high.  It’s set high enough for this 6’1″ tall man to walk under it without combing my ear hair down.

The coffee is kicking in.  I can feel the jello vibrating a bit more right now.  Woooooook.  That feels good.  This really was a good idea.

This is the second week of medical leave for me, part two.  Those who have been following along are aware that there was a part one last January, three weeks for foot surgery that left me physically incapacitated until nearly May.  Notice that I say physically incapacitated.  Let’s not get that confused with my usual mental state.

As I write, I am waiting for the morning circus to begin.  I am downstairs in the kitchen, the place where many of the pictures I use for this blog are taken (I will use one for this blog).  My coffee is just the right temperature, the Cream of Wheat cooling, Chester the cat sitting on the chair opposite me peering out the sliding glass door of the deck.  We both enjoy the early morning quiet.  Chester also likes the morning birds, his bird meow a pure joy to me.  We both know that in a few moments our revelry will be interrupted by first an overly anxious Miriam as she goes through her morning rituals to get out the door, followed by Alyssa as she arrives fresh and ready to take the food and coffee her mother shoves at her, then Nate will amble in with shuffling feet to slip his shoes on.  I try not to smile as he tells her to chill.  He always does.  That is something he has learned to do this year.  Last year he would have been panicking along with her, a perfect duo.  This year is different, a calmer boy prevailing, one that went from a D & F grade student to an A & B student this year.  Hmmmmm.

Thinking about Nate in that light, well, it gets that brain gelatin vibrating a little more.  He has changed in one aspect of his life.  Maybe there is hope for the way he and I relate.  After all, he did tell me this past weekend that I am a very good dad.. and in the same breath said he did not think I was being a very good dad at the moment.  As Nate I heard that, I couldn’t help but process the positive in that while also admiring the way he said it.  Now what lead to and followed that moment was not positive, but I chose the passive and mostly silent response, listening better for the both of us than me reacting.  This past Saturday and Sunday was packed with a spousal contradiction, can of Mountain Dew bursting, frank discussion before church, tornadoes, delayed football game, TV battle, video game irritation, soul search, rainbow contemplation.  By Sunday morning I did not want to be in the house, the conflict so overpowering that my recently repaired gut was complaining mightily.  Thankfully there was the week gleaming on the near horizon, my experience from medical leave part one enough to keep my head straight.  I knew that Monday morning would return me to healing, including the damage the conflict was trying to inflict on me during the weekend.

That may be why I came into Monday morning with energetic enthusiasm, my gut still feeling the surgery from a week ago but not as much as it had over the weekend.  One of the challenges of the weekend had also been mechanical problems with the family van, so I had to make sure my PT Cruiser ran well enough for Miriam to drive, which it did.  The PT has become the problem child that requires me to stay a step ahead of it, which I do, but Miriam is not familiar with the PT’s quirks.  I needed to drive the family van, an aging Nissan Quest with lots of upside in spite of it just plain showing signs of wearing out.  150K miles does that to a vehicle no matter how good it is.  My friends from Panera had been sending me messages hinting that they hadn’t seen me for a while and wanted to know how I am doing.  How can I resist that?  I can’t.  It makes me feel like the celebrity I am not.  They are the only people, for the most part outside of my old blogs, that have heard (not read) a portion of my fictional writing and for some reason they seemed to like it.  Either that or they are just really nice people who are just encouraging me, which they are, but I like to hold a bit of hope that maybe they really did like what I wrote and read to them.  So off I went to Panera in the family van after using the jump charger to bring it to life, the displays and headlights dim until the battery was charged enough to support the vehicle’s accessories.

Monday was the day I got stuff done.  Even though I had the benefit of quiet while the kids were at school, I spent the day doing the tasks that I normally would not be able to devote my attention to.  In the office or even at home with my family around, it is near impossible to get the privacy to get issues that must be resolved over the phone done.  One task hanging over since the middle of September was a final premium bill from Farmer’s Insurance that was ridiculous from a fairness point of view (so much so that I had no issues in questioning it — sometimes I feel that the other side has its reasons) and presented to me with such a mean spirit that I could not believe it.  To make the story short (unlike this blog), after a week of wrangling with Farmers over a doubled auto premium that was going to come due again in less than two weeks, I had to cancel simply because Farmers was dragging their feet to try to resolve my issues with the doubled premium.  On the second business day, I received a bill from Farmers Insurance for the final premium — due upon receipt.  And I received a collection notice for that bill this past Friday.  So I called Farmers on Monday, negotiated an automated phone tree that seemed very much designed to handle anything but any customer with service issues, spent a lot of time on hold, negotiated firmly with a nice but stubbornly company line customer service associate who eventually turned me over to someone in accounts who had the power to resolve my issue with the final premium bill.  She did what should have been done in the beginning, applied payments and the discounts due to me, and issued a refund instead of a bill.  Had I not had the time (it took close to two hours), energy, privacy, and rest that call required from me, it likely would not have been resolved.

When one has the time and the rest that provides more control over the calm, one can take the deep breaths necessary to stop, advise the person on the other end of the line that you have reached the point where you are going to be upset.  I have learned that one.  It works.  You don’t have to yell and it’s fair to the person on the other side, who probably hates that they don’t have the power to help you the way you need to be helped, take a deep breath also and let their brain work enough to figure out a solution.  Sometimes a customer service person does not have the power to help, so I let him know that it did not have to be him that provides the resolution, but maybe another department or supervisor could.  I could almost literally hear the bell go off.  He told me he had an idea, was going to put me on hold for a while, came back to check in and let me know that the accounts person was working on it, then came back a few minutes later with her on the line.  Bingo.  In a few minutes, my situation with Farmers had gone from adversarial to peacefully and positively resolved.

There is no way I would recommend that company, no way I would do business with them again — there was too much trouble necessary to reach resolution.  There is a lot of my life I will not get back from that tiny refund.  A customer focused company would have been able to resolve my issues within five minutes, not the countless time and phone calls that resolution required, as well as the energy retaining my patience required.

It’s nice to ‘win’.  That changed my outlook on Monday.  By the evening, I no longer felt sick.  I had turned a corner.  I relaxed.

So what did I do yesterday?  Very little.  I did learn a little.  Online video games are changing the mindsets of the immature.  I am not talking about myself.  I am talking about 8 to 14 year old boys trying to cuss and talk like military hardened soldiers.  I played a lot of Call of Duty online yesterday, something I play as a game (play Call of Duty online sometime and you will know why I highlighted the word game).  Children and adults used the terms nigger, fuck, shit, dick, suck, eat me, gay, etc. so much that I had to use the mute feature of the game or quit in disgust.

However, I am now friended in the game by a black teen who calls himself “MyNigga”.  He calls me “Old White Nigga”.  Word.

What am I going to do today?  The bad weather here in the Chicago area ripped a large section of shingles from my back yard shed.  I may be able to do that without hurting myself.  Mir thinks I should not do that.  I may listen to her on that one.  I may be having a good week, but another week will drive me to the stir crazy world of allworkandnoplaymakesjackadullboy.  I am trying to write, after all, and that is my plan for the day.

Off to the shower.  I will leave you with a picture of my dog child Nick, who I just had to go outside and force back inside.  He loves cold weather and is waiting for his beagle friend from next door, Casimir, to come outside and play.  Nick stays in the unfenced yard until he gets a little stir crazy.  Like human, like dog.

(Some quick notes on this blog — 1.  Don’t think I don’t notice the attitude I have regarding my wife, the way I portray her in this blog shows in the way I describe her, phrases like “overly anxious”.  I am aware of it but am not sure I can change it.  There is a lot of prayer going on to address it, but I am not at the point where I want to change it — mainly because I am at the point where I am sure it can not because she is not going to change.  I am going to try to stop writing about that.  2.  To those who read this blog through the FB link, I may not link to a blog any more if I deem it too personal.)

Nick did not want to come inside, refused to, so unlike my usually master pleasing pup.

Nick did not want to come inside, refused to, so unlike my usually master pleasing pup.

Challenges Beyond The Physical

15 Friday Nov 2013

Posted by shenrydafrankmann in Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

family finances, health, recovery

More reports from the recovery bed today.  My body is taking the next step towards recovery, which basically is that purge stage that gets everything back to working order.  I feel different today than I did yesterday.  That is a good thing.

My guess is that the other challenge I am facing with surgery is the one that most everyone else also experiences — the financial challenge.  One of the blessings I am experiencing is that the company I work for decided about a year ago to quit going cheap on the employee health plan, switching plans to BCBS, a much superior and very accepted health plan, complete in so many ways.  Since this year has been the year of surgery for me, with my foot surgery happening in January and the gallbladder removal this past Monday, I am giving that health plan a good test.  It is passing with flying colors, so far so complete that there have been little to no worries about coverage and payment.  Everything is quick and I know exactly what my responsibility is.  Because my deductibles were met earlier in the year, the out of pocket expense for the current surgery is expected to be zero.  That, my friends, is a blessing.

But, of course, a second surgery also means a second short term disability claim.  I have very little vacation or personal time left to use towards the five working day delay before the medical disability kicks in.  I may actually have to write a check to my company next week to cover the weekly paycheck insurance deductions.. and I will not get a paycheck for my time away this week.  That hurts.  At least it complicates life a bit — we have to figure out how we are going to survive through the next few weeks on what is left at the moment –$87.  Yikes.  And that is before I write that check for the insurance deduction.

Of course, our cat became sick yesterday.  He has sort of urinary thing going on.  Mir dropped him off at the vet this morning.  Yeah.  Let’s all heave a collective sigh together.  I just did.  It never freaking stops.  Never.  Ever. 

I am still on that long road to try to turn my family finances around.  There are things I need to do, but the main thing is to cut my family off to accessing my pay.  Sound cruel?  It feels that way.  But it seems to be the only way.  More than one person has suggested that I open another bank account, at a bank different than the one we currently use, and an account that only I have access to.  I am slow doing that, but I know it’s the only way.  Despite the dire financial straits, my family still does not get the urgency, my wife used to being bailed out.  She does not understand that planning, self control, and a bit of common sense will go a long way to changing our situation for the better.  I keep giving her chances, giving her a cash budget for groceries, for instance.  Out of $240 given to her for groceries in two paychecks, there were no planned meals and little groceries in our family store.  How does that happen?  Yet our son is constantly stocked with soda pop, they come home with sacks from their fast food forays almost every day, and even though Mir knew I was cooking dinner with ice cream in the freezer for desert last night, they still came home with McDonalds and hot fudge sundaes after school.  Un freaking real.

I should not write about this stuff.

But a lot of that last bit of information also falls on my shoulders.  Looks like I am going to have to be the tough leader, probably a bit of a dictator, by cutting them off totally.  I am slow making the steps necessary, but I am getting there.

Soooooooo, the challenges really are beyond the physical when it comes to recovery.  Really, getting physically better is the easiest part of this whole thing.  I am getting support from my own family though, my brothers and their families, both doing very well financially, have both sent gifts to me, one of the reasons I was able to pay the mortgage this week.  My mom did make sure that there was food in the fridge when she and dad visited this past Monday after my surgery.  I need to look at the blessings.  They are there and one of those blessings is the support I get from friends and family.

And the challenges will keep coming, I am sure.

My Boss Asks Me A Valid Question (for once)

06 Sunday Oct 2013

Posted by shenrydafrankmann in Uncategorized

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

old guy bragging about how good he is at sports, recovery, softball

Forget that “for once” in the title block.  My boss is often a valid questioner, one of those common sense guys with wicked sarcasm, which makes him ideal to be my boss.  He is also the one that called the ambulance last Thursday, a stellar move that deserves a thank you for him doing it in a caring fashion, instead of a “hey you over anxious moron, suck it up” fashion.  My boss also has two sons that play on our company softball team, a team that plays on Friday nights, so he is our scorekeeper.

That’s why he asked me a valid question — weren’t you the one who got carted off in an ambulance yesterday?

All of the guys on the team came by my desk Friday morning, concerned and worried.. that I wouldn’t be able to play our double header Friday night.  Come on, Steve, we might be short players if you aren’t there.  It doesn’t take much to convince me. Begging me also feeds my already huge ego.  I would play if I just had a double amputation.  Truth was that I didn’t feel like dirt, just a little wonky (a term found in all medical journals), and though my wife thought I was a bit goofy for wanting to play, I wanted to play.

So I did.  Like a freaking all star.  I probably should have intentionally done bad, but I just couldn’t.  My last at bat, the only out I made in both games, was a line drive shot that made a loud pop as the left fielder caught it in his glove.  There were four plays on the field that got me fist bumps as I came back to the dug out.  My boss looked at me with an eyebrow raised, something I am used to seeing, and asked that valid question along with “did they put steroids in the IV?”.

Of course, I got to my car and with the adrenaline wearing off.  Oh crap.  I didn’t feel good.

My wife has me chained to the couch with instructions that I will not do anything at all today.   Yes, dear.

Stick A Fork In Me

09 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by shenrydafrankmann in Uncategorized

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

bicycle, God, healed, recovery

IT HAS HAPPENED!!!!!!!!

No, it’s not the second coming. I would be gone and I probably wouldn’t leave a note behind for my family.  I would also be posting this blog from a WiFi hot spot in heaven.  Hey you, get off of my cloud.

Nope.  But I about high enough to be in heaven.  I called my dad a few minutes ago and he told mom as he handed her the phone —

“Watch out, it’s Steve and he’s on one of his highs.”

I love you, dad.  But you can’t ride my bicycle.

YES, IT HAS HAPPENED!!!!!!!!

No, it’s not the attack of the exclamation points.

Steve wasn't home for dinner.

Steve wasn’t home for dinner.

My.. first.. bicycle.. ride.. since.. foot… surgery.  I thought this day was never going to get here.  At least not this soon.  January 10th was the surgery and the surgeon said that three months was the minimum (urgh, argh) recovery time.  Six weeks ago my doctor said that I would be wearing the walking boot for six weeks or more, definitely not riding in six weeks, depending on if the fused bone takes and heals.

This afternoon was my six week check up.  Doctor Sunshine showed me the xray, pointed to where the bone had grown around the plate and screws, smiled and said

“Congratulations.  You can throw away that walking boot.  Get out that orange Adidas shoe you have been saving your left foot.  Walk.  You can try riding a bike but be careful.  The exercise is going to help alleviate the swelling… and I don’t want to see you again unless the foot is falling off.”

He shook my hand.  It’s nice to have a doc who rides.  I’ll likely see him on a group ride some time this summer.

The first shoe I wore on my new left foot was my Shimano cycling shoe.  I got home with the sun shining, hardly a breeze blowing, and plenty of daylight left.  We were supposed to have thunderstorms all day, so the weather was a bit of a miracle.  God was telling me to go for it.  No one was home.  There was no question what I was going to do.

My bike looked at me questioningly as I opened the garage door.  Ready?

The spandex fit like a glove.  A very tight glove.  Three months of riding the couch has added a few pounds.  Three months without feeling spandex close to my skin is too long, but it felt soooooo good.

You may stop reading to gag, if required.

Now imagine a 51 year old man bending over a bicycle pump in spandex.  The fssshhh fssssshh fsssshhhhh of the pump filling the high pressure tires of my road bicycle was music to my ears.  I gathered gloves, helmet, water bottle, and shoes.

Ready.

The familiar clop clop clop of the hard soled bike shoes and cleats on the asphalt driveway as I walked my bike out to the street.  I sighed a happy sigh as I stretched my right leg over the top tube, clicked the cleat on my left foot into the pedal, pushed off with my right as the saddle met my back side, then the right cleat clicked in.  The hum of the tires soothed.

I was riding again.  Right turn, turning the pedals to propel my light titanium bicycle forward.  Left turn.

And God showed me that my return to the bike was blessed.  Rolling towards me was my friend, Jim, the guy riding through the woods on my blog header, one of my best riding friends.  Coincidence?  Some times you just have to admit that God does stuff like that.

Best ride ever.  Ten miles out of the box, out of healing.  It felt good with hardly a twinge of pain.

Miriam greeted me in the garage as I pulled in from the ride, laughing at me as I gave a loud whoop with my fist in the air.

It’s going to be OK.  It’s going to be great.  All is well.

It has happened.

Yes, I really do say these things

  • My Father is Yacky
  • Image Bearer
  • Evening Ramble
  • Exposure of the Indecent Kind
  • Just Say Gnome

Yes, I really did

  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • March 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • May 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012

Categories

My brain hurts with you

  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • March 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • May 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012

Blogs I Follow (and maybe even read)

  • glennkaiser.com
  • There and Bach Again
  • Dean
  • Southern Georgia Bunny
  • The Rambling Biker
  • Storyshucker
  • Ah dad...
  • Squeeze the Space Man's Taco
  • I didn't have my glasses on....
  • kidscrumbsandcrackers
  • longawkwardpause.wordpress.com/
  • Cycling Dutch Girl
  • The Shameful Sheep
  • Blog Woman!!! - Life Uncategorized
  • Life in Lucie's Shoes
  • Fit Recovery
  • lifebeyondexaggeration
  • Globe Drifting
  • I AM TOM NARDONE
  • Cathy's Voice Now

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 270 other subscribers

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Blog at WordPress.com.

glennkaiser.com

There and Bach Again

a teacher's journey

Dean

Marketing major. Outdoor sports lover. San Diego living.

Southern Georgia Bunny

Adventures of an Southern Bunny everything from dating, sex, life and shake your head moments.

The Rambling Biker

Roaming & Rambling in search of MTB Stoke

Storyshucker

A blog full of humorous and poignant observations.

Ah dad...

I need the funny because they're teenagers now

Squeeze the Space Man's Taco

A journey into Cade's world

I didn't have my glasses on....

A trip through life with fingers crossed and eternal optimism.

kidscrumbsandcrackers

Kids - I`m like the old woman who lived in a shoe - Crumbs, my house is full of them - Crackers, Im slowly going

longawkwardpause.wordpress.com/

Cycling Dutch Girl

the only certainty is change

The Shameful Sheep

Blog Woman!!! - Life Uncategorized

Mother, Nehiyaw, Metis, & Itisahwâkan - career communicator. This is my collection of opinions, stories, and the occasional rise to, or fall from, challenge. In other words, it's my party, I can fun if I want to. Artwork by aaronpaquette.net

Life in Lucie's Shoes

Life in a bubble: a dose of New York humor with an Italian twist!

Fit Recovery

Stay Clean Get Fit

lifebeyondexaggeration

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Globe Drifting

Global issues, travel, photography & fashion. Drifting across the globe; the world is my oyster, my oyster through a lens.

I AM TOM NARDONE

Cathy's Voice Now

Sharing my "voice"

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • shenrydafrankmann
    • Join 270 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • shenrydafrankmann
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...