Part of the awesomeness of living in a new place is discovery. Everything is new, fresh, each experience a unique beginning. We have a new house (to us) that gives us plenty of opportunity to try out our ideas. Our house is indeed ours now, the walls painted to colors we like, kitchen counters upgraded to quartz, upstairs carpet removed and replaced with a pleasant laminate, our granddaughter’s bedroom decorated to her liking (it’s her haven, a motivator to visit us more often). Waiting for Spring to come has taken on a Christmas-like tinge, the anticipation of what will appear with warmer weather almost too much for us. March 20 is marked and highlighted in big, bold letters on our calendar. Lisa and I are wannabe gardeners, a habit that is a delight to dreamers, and we are dreaming of what surprises will pop up when the cold retreats — the Magnolias outside our front and back windows, the Bradford pears, the Japanese Cherry, the Jerusalem Artichoke, and all the other plants we have yet to witness in their Spring glory. Last Fall, we planted a lot of bulbs and can’t wait to see how many survive the squirrels.
We belonged to a garden club when we lived in Warrenville, still belong to that club. Last Thursday night we attended the January meeting with what was probably 50 other people. Topic was winter sowing and starting seeds, interesting to us because we now have places at home to do just that. Our basement has a large closet area next to the furnace, complete with adequate shelving and outlets for the lights/heating mats needed to start seeds. Today we are going to Menards to look at an inexpensive little greenhouse. I had to laugh (inside only) because Lisa had pooh-poohed my suggestion we start seeds. During the meeting her interest sparked and burst into flames, convinced and inspired by the speakers we heard at the club meeting. A plan for what to plant and when to start certain seeds is already coming together. I am getting my own space at the back of our yard, a space that overlooks our little lake. There is already Jerusalem artichoke and Dill, and my idea is to add Bachelor’s Button, Cosmos, Marigold, Black Eyed Susan, and Nasturtium. Lisa is going to plant a vegetable garden next to my space.
I also want to see what the lawn looks like in the Spring. We moved to our house at the end of June, right at the beginning of a dry spell, so we mostly saw what our lawn looks like during the heat of summer. There is some concern about the quality of the soil (it’s ash like and hard), so we want to see what it’s like when the soil is moist. One of my Christmas gifts was a little aerating tool, so I will likely try that early in the season. I am a lawn mowing fanatic. A lawn mower was the first tool we bought when we moved in, and I mowed the lawn every few days (whether it needed it or not). Lisa thought that was funny, but I think she also admires my dedication. The lawn mower is a battery powered one, which I was skeptical about at first, but now I love it. Our yard isn’t large, so the battery is adequate. There was Creeping Charlie in the yard when we moved in, but we were winning the battle with that weed. Lisa found a chemical that eliminated most of it, plus a lot of pulling took care of the CC around the edges and in the flower beds. Spring may find us with a renewed battle come Spring, as I know from previous experience that Creeping Charlie is the pernicious knid of weeds — very resilient and mean.
Another new opportunity to us is composting. Our home came with an Aerobin composting bin, as well as a rain barrel. I embraced the concept of composting right away. There is no garbage disposal in our sink, so we have a bowl next to the sink that we use to collect scraps. Those all go in the bin, along with yard waste. The bin is large, enough to hold the majority of the Fall leaves — I have a leaf blower that also sucks up leaves into a bag attachment, chopped up. Our plan is to use the compost in the yard and garden. I filled a wheel barrow with compost from the bin last September and spread it on the backyard lawn. It appeared to brighten up the lawn nicely. The compost was fine, easy to spread.
We are also having fun decorating for each holiday. Our neighbors have expressed their appreciation. Halloween decorations were cobwebs and spiders, and a spooky scene projected on our garage door. I am not one who likes to over do Halloween decorations, mostly due to my Christian beliefs, but it’s still fun to decorate. Christmas brought a plethora of lights on the porch and front yard trees, an inflatable gnome, brightly lit pine garland over the garage, an old sled on our front porch, a wreath on the front door, and green/red light bulbs on our patio string lights. Lisa loves decorating the inside of our house, the storage space in our basement storage space mostly filled with her decoration storage bins.
I like that life is about change. Accepting change isn’t always easy, but embracing it can be extremely satisfying. Leaving our friends and acquaintances in Warrenville, even our church, was difficult. Although our new home is close enough to stay in touch, it’s far enough away to feel like we are starting over. We still make the effort to connect with the friends from our previous home but it’s not the same. New friends in a new place don’t come quickly, and we know that patience brings blessings. That goes the same for our new church, a place that God gracefully brought us to. I, in particular, am trying to find a way to serve, am prayerfully doing so. Church is not church if I am only going to worship services. That is not what God intends. Waiting on God, seeking a way to be a part of our new church, is perhaps the most frustrating part of the new beginning that is part of our move. Funny, part of the new is experiencing it for the first time with a wife who is in essence new to me. It’s different than in the past, when I was able to just dig in and get involved in a church. I am now married to a person who doesn’t do that, who I trust and enjoy considering before/after I volunteer for something at our church. It’s a little painful for this extrovert. She’s reserved, a planner. I dive in. I am learning to be careful, to dip my toe in rather than leap, to wait. I needed, still need, to learn the patience that goes along with that, to listen to God and ask for Him to lead me to what He is calling me to. That’s part of the new, I know.
When Lisa and I were contemplating our move to our new home, we prayed and asked God to show us how He can use us in our new home. I am not sure I have ever prayed that way before. There have been plenty of opportunities for me to seek God’s calling. That has always been a challenge to me. As one who dives in, most if not all of what I have done has been influenced by what I want, not necessarily what God wants for me. That is a difficult thing to admit. It’s not easy to determine what God is calling me to, especially when it involves waiting and listening to Him. As Veruca Salt was keen to exclaim, I want it NOW!!!! (don’t ever expect me to want a squirrel, however)
Yes, I know that was my second Willy Wonka reference. So shoot me. Or send me to the juicing room.
My daughter has become a fantastic example of what it means to wait on God, to be open to His leading, to His call. I shared with her my recent struggles about wanting to be a volunteer with the high school youth group at church. Our youth pastor has spent a lot of time with me, talking to me about being a volunteer, finding out about my life and past experiences. I was a youth pastor for a time, and he wanted to hear about that, including my calling to becoming a pastor. Honestly, it was a struggle to talk about that, mainly because even that being a pastor was something I am not sure I was called to do. Perhaps that’s the reason I was a pastor for only a short period of time. Despite that, God has used me in many, many ways, in ways that have truly been indescribable blessings. God’s calling can be simply a desire to be used by God. I have seen that my entire life. That has required being open to the new, to leaping out in faith, to going with the flow. But the youth pastor at our new church, after hours of talking with me and sharing with me, encouraged me to pray about being called. That was new to me. Didn’t he want a volunteer? Wasn’t he asking for volunteers and saying that there was a real need? Did I need to be called? Thus the struggle, in part, but in an entirely good way.
Here is what I shared with my daughter —
Me: Struggling with whether or not I am being called as a high school youth group volunteer leader. I am willing and want to be available, but there doesn’t seem to be a call, no burning desire. I have been praying and listening in more ways than one. Lisa said that God is calling me to something and I just need to wait. I hate waiting.
What I told my daughter is definitely true. The way I have prayed and LISTENED has been a first to me. It’s God teaching me, I know.
Daughter: I have learned in the past six years that just because it’s a good thing doesn’t mean it’s what God is calling me to do.
It’s strange to hear wisdom coming from my own child. It’s not that she isn’t wise. I expect to be the one imparting wisdom to my child, not receiving it. I also know that God speaks through others. God was speaking to me through my daughter. Clearly speaking. He has done that several times through her. I am still getting used to it.
I prayed some more, talked to Lisa some more, and then I sent an email to our youth pastor. I let him know I don’t feel God’s call to be a youth leader, but am still willing and want to be available if needed. I think he needed to hear that, and I think that was what he expected. That is likely why he took the time to get to know me rather than just accept me as a volunteer. I appreciate that. I admire that because it took a maturity that many pastors don’t possess. God is teaching me through people much younger than I. I like that. It’s definitely part of this new season of life.
What is God’s calling for me? I see something clearly, something I already know but wasn’t ready to accept. I have a step son who needs my influence, who needs someone to show him what it means to be a Christ follower. I have a family who needs a God centered leader. My own son is looking to me to be a father he can trust. He leans on my experience, precarious as that may be. Do I need to be specifically doing something at church to actually be a part of the church? I don’t need a task. God will show me. I just need to be patient, willing to seek His leading, to listen. And wait, to embrace the blessings of the new that He is bringing to Lisa and I. Who knows what new things we will see in this fresh season to come?
I’m getting a little tiny taste of retirement this week, a nugget of nothing, a week of staycation. Nothing is what I expect, however I doubt nothing is not what retirement will be. What it will mean, if the past few days are a decent sample, is that I will get a chance to work in ways that I enjoy. Sleep will be less regimented, controlled less by an alarm clock and more by my own internal clock. Yesterday, I managed to sleep past 7 AM, but today my internal clock had me awake a little past 5 and out of bed by 6. That is fine by me. I like the quiet comfort of the morning, the feeling of being greeted by God as his creation is slowly illuminated before me. A serene scene is laid out before me, a glassy pond reflecting the trees on the other side and shrouded by the morning mist, all framed by the trees in my back yard and the glass doors from my dining room. My morning coffee, a half cup of strong heavily sweetened dark roast, has been consumed, as has my usual half cup of oatmeal with chopped banana and honey drizzled on top.
As might be evident, I have intentionally avoided talking about my pending divorce here. Now and then the topic has come up in a blog, but it’s just not something that I have wanted to put out there in this blog. It’s a challenge to me as there are not too many off switches in my personality, my normally introverted extrovert self has no problem sharing whatever is itching at my soul, my heart an open book. Anyone who knows me will probably tell you that I am embarrassingly open. Just ask my children and they will give you an emphatic YES. It’s the way that I am put together, the way that I have to be, both a blessing and a curse at times.
shenrydafrankmann 