You Are Never Alone

I am incredibly infatuated with you, Miss Internet.  You look out for me, you entice me with your charms.

And because of you, I am never alone.  You help me to feel good about myself by making it oh so easy to discover that there are plenty of screw up doofs just like me.  Thanks to search engines.  All that I have to do is confess my sin to Google and I see that there are indeed plenty of others with the same affliction.

Take today, for instance, when I typed “2010 VW Key Fob Washing Machine”.  137,000 results.  Forums with numerous thread posts involving VW key fobs left in pockets and washed in the laundry, more than one individual confessing that they had performed that operation more than once.

Nifty little pieces of tech. There is no such thing as a simple car key any more.

I don’t feel so bad now.  Especially since there were many solutions posted to repair the malfunctioning key fobs.  Thanks to other industrious miscreants such as myself, I was able to find a cheap fix — a new battery.

Yes, I left the key fob for my VW in the back pocket of my bicycle jersey when I got home last Saturday morning.  My ever laundry industrious wife threw the sweat soaked jersey immediately in the washer.

A few minutes later, I wondered why I heard a clunk inside our clothes washer.  It didn’t register right away.  As a matter of fact, it didn’t register until Nate asked me for a ride to the school.  Where was my car key?  Oh yeah.  Clunk clunk clunk.

The key fob worked until yesterday, when I could no longer use the keyless entry function on my car.  Oops.

But it works now, so I am not totally stupid.  Only partially stupid am I.

I wish the solution would have been as easy to fix my 64 gig iPod Touch when I dropped it in the toilet.  Ouch.  I did find out I was not alone then either.  Plenty had made the same mistake.  Plenty had found out that iPods and water, especially toilet water, are not compatible.

Thanks to the internet, I will never be alone.