I love it when I come up with a catchy blog title.  This could be the first blog ever to be made into a movie.  I’m thinking George Clooney will win the scuffle to play the lead.

Since May I have seen enough airports to start writing a blog to rate them.  Airports are much improved from the old days, my first experiences flying the pterodactyl.  Negotiating security on this side of the water has improved to a near non-event status these days, pre-check making the process quick and painless.  Entering Midway (Chicago) and San Antonio International took a total of two minutes.  Everything stays in my backpack, including the laptop PC, shoes and belt can stay on, and even if I beg for a body cavity search, it doesn’t happen.  Even writing ‘Helter Skelter’ on my forehead with a Sharpie draws (pun intended) no attention.

There have been headaches.  Mister BooHooIWantToKnockMyselfOff screwed up air travel in Chicagoland by attempting a combo suicide/arson at the Aurora, Illinois radar facility.  The last few months saw average delays for flights to/from Chicago of 2-4 hours or more.  That problem seems to have been solved by speeding things up, apparently, since I had the Mario Andretti of jet pilots this Monday morning.  There was apparently no line for the runway and he didn’t even slow down to make the turn for take off.  I think my loud WHOOP during lift off frightened the girl next to me.  She shrunk against the window and stayed there the entire 2.5 hour flight to Houston.  I experienced having my luggage lost on a return flight earlier this summer, the customer service person insisting I was a obsessed lunatic when I claimed, after waiting an hour, that my luggage had been lost.

She was not correct.  Don’t even go there.

My luggage was found on Elizabeth Perkins’ front doorstep, another one of her attempts to lure me into her web.  It’s OK if you don’t know who she is.  Let’s just say she heard of my undeniable crush on her and is overwhelmed by my charming good looks.  I am resisting.

I found out what car rental service NOT to rent from on this trip.  I waited for an hour in line to rent a car on Monday, then found a dent in the car I rented but could find no one to process the form to document it, then spent 45 minutes circling the San Antonio airport this afternoon trying to find the return center.

My travel week started at 4 AM with the limo picking me up at home to take me to Midway airport in Chicago.  I like Midway now.  At one time it was a hole in the wall airport and I swear I saw pilots wearing leather helmets with goggles there.  Now it is modern, the hub for Southwest Airlines (my fave simply because it is inexpensive).  There is plenty of open area and eating areas to relax while waiting to board.  My flight went without a hitch, although my seat mate offered me gum at one point.  Oops.  I forgot to put mints in my carry on.  Even with the delay at the rental car counter, I made it to my appointment in time to introduce myself and let them take me to lunch.  It was a productive day.  My hotel was close by and I saw several clients.  The evening was quiet, with a good burger and a chance to see Mockingjay (I was the only person in the theater).

Yesterday was an interesting drive from Houston to San Antonio.  I like seeing Texas, an interesting state with unique terrain.  It still feels like the old west in places.

Today was sales calls with one of my salesmen.  If you like visiting waste water treatment plants, then you would have had a good time.  We had to climb the stairs and negotiate the catwalk above 30 foot tall effluent tanks.  I washed my hands a few times when I was finished.

I am in the San Antonio airport now, relaxing and working while I wait for my flight.  Oh, and I do like the long legged women with jeans and boots here.  I may have had a few opportunities to cast a quick glance at a few.  This airport rates high on the ‘creep opportunity’ scale.  The only airport that gets a higher rating in that category is Schiphol.

Which airports are my favorites so far?

1.  Schiphol

2.  San Francisco

3.  O’Hare

4.  Midway

5.  Nashville

Least?

1.  Atlanta

2.  O’Hare (yes)

3.  Houston Hobby

4.  San Antonio International (claustrophobic and poorly organized)

I like an airport with ease of access everywhere.  Nice places and space to relax at the terminals.  Refinied security.

Can’t say I am an accomplished traveler yet, but I am getting there.  I can negotiate the details well now and so far, with ease.

OK, I just heard the Southwest ding dong that precedes the cattle call.  Ciao!

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